Becoming a Fearless Parent!
Sunday, June 19th, 2016
Might this be you?
You have been up late with an ill child or teen, or you have played cards with your child to while away that 6 hour wait in the emergency room, or you have had to ask over and over again for testing from a hesitant doctor who is watching their clock because your visit only lasts 10 minutes, or you have come home from a visit with a practitioner that cost you hundreds of dollars with a bag full of supplements you have to now get into your child (somehow), or heaven forbid, your child has been diagnosed with a chronic illness and you are sent home with a prescription and/or a list of supplements to give them with no real plan for “what’s next?”
You sometimes feel undersupported, overworked, and isolated at times. Maybe burnt out or overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of it all.
You have so many questions and are not sure who to ask, who to trust, who might care because everyone is so damned busy all of the time to listen to you or to help you to figure things out.
But after the smoke has cleared, you pick yourself up and dust yourself off. You get out of “what about me” mode and get focused.
This might be the time when you need to dig in, but don’t always know where to turn. This might be the time when you first understand that not only the responsibility, but the power, is in you to be the lead, the person who calls the shots, on the health of your family. This might be the time when you start asking more questions and when you need to find more support. This might be the time when advocacy, action, and taking control of your situation supersedes protocol, taking a backseat to the professionals, and the traditional belief that the doctor knows best.
Now, I am not saying that we know everything and that healthcare professionals should not be on our family healthcare teams. But I am saying that we are the quarterbacks, we are the ones who know our children and what they experience on a day to day basis; we know their symptoms, how they react to certain protocols; we care for them and have the drive and desire to find out more.
Because we are the caregivers and love those kids like no one else can (yes, even more than all of those kind and amazing healthcare providers), we are the only ones who can profoundly affect change in the state of our children’s health. We are the ones. And we are doing it every day.
I had a fantastic talk with Louise Kuo Habakus, Founding Director of Fearless Parentwww.fearlessparent.org and author of Vaccine Epidemic: How Corporate Greed, Biased Science, and Coercive Government Threaten Our Human Rights, Our Health, and Our Children during our Children’s & Teen Health Summit about these very things.
During our interview, we discussed a huge array of issues such as immunizations, a new model of family healthcare that puts parents into the driver’s seat, emfs and wifi exposure, homotoxicology, fearless parenting, and this phenomena called “expertization.”
“I believe that when we look at parenting today, it is very much fear-based. And there’s a trend that has been ascended over the past couple of decades, at least. That is something that’s called expertization. It’s this idea that expertise about things – and we’re talking about parenting, in particular – that it resides outside the parent. It resides in experts. It’s the idea that parents shouldn’t take on this important task of parenting on their own, that they have to actually delegate or really pay close attention, and follow the advice of experts.
So, I think what’s happening is that we are afraid we’re going to blow it. We are delegating our power and our authority. And we are making decisions from a place of fear and not accessing our highest and best judgment and seat of power…
So, I believe that expertization really hasn’t helped us. Parents are looking and saying, “You know what? My kids don’t really look better off for all of this expert advice.” So many people are looking for a better way…
…I have two boys who are now 11 and 14. But when they were babies, they were quite sick. They had inflammatory bowel disease. And I did everything. I stood on my head. I went to 1,000,001 doctors. We did all sorts of lab work. We did a ton of research. And when I came to understand was that they were injured by a number of toxic exposures, including their vaccines. So, I wasn’t able to help them until I made the decision to defy convention and really pay attention to what I thought was going on.
And the thing is, you can’t do something unless you know what it is you are trying to affect, right? So, I had to come up with a new framework for looking at health and wellness that made sense to me. And it had nothing to do with better living through pharmaceuticals. It was really a very profound shift. And it was the one that went away from, “Doctor, help me.” And the shift here was that I realized that I am in charge. I’m the one who has all the power. And I get to call the shots when it comes to my family’s health and wellbeing.”
We call the shots. Wow. That is both a terrifying thought and a grand privilege and responsibility. With the right information, the shots we call will be the right ones at the right time because we are paying attention and listening and becoming fearless parents in the sense that we can acknowledge our fears, then move from inaction to action.
When it comes to your childrens’ health, carpe diem!
To hear more about what Louise says about this concept of fearless parenting (amongst many other things), you can listen to Louise Kuo Habakus’ full interview by checking out the Children’s & Teen Health Summit here.
AND you can also attend my upcoming webinar on July 30th at 7:00p.m. Mountain Time aboutParenting Children with Chronic Illness. I am over the moon excited about this one! As a mother of a child with a diagnosis, I have been dying to share with other parents out there that are going through the same things I experienced what I have learned through powerful strategies, professional information, and empowering support, the kind I would have greatly benefitted from over the last 3 years had it been available to me. If you are struggling with any of the above, join me!